shiratorijun

Talked to Joe for lunch. Talked with Joe through lunch.

Then, set up for the Thursday night crush.

HUGE.

So many people, we had to start turning them away at the door. If Jinpei and I weren't so set on a dockside J? We'd buy the space next door for sure.

Even with all the rounds I've been buying, I've got more money. Doesn't make me rich though. Betty the DJ's been snatched from me twice. Had to bribe her back with better pay. And anyway, I don't think I could stand being rich in the middle of Utoland. And if Utoland got back on its feet quick? There'd still be the rest of the world to slap in the face with decadence.

Crawled out of bed at crack of, and went round the orphanages to see what was needed, how I could help. Bought many diapers and many linens (for cash which wasn't exactly shrewd). When I was done helping with the stirring of the laundry in big pots of boiling water, of course I snuggled little ones who don't get enough touch.

Came home and found out that we were out of the basics. Spent the morning on the phone snarling at distributors to bring me something that I could feed my customers. Good thing Jinpei's good with protein chunks.

Through it all, through the details of being me in UC, the thought that kept coming into my head was immortality. Nambu's and Joe's. And also, me being willing to stand with a Demon Lord against Katse if Katse had the nerve to storm hell in monster mecha.

Sometimes, and I'll only say it once, my rage impresses me -- with my stupidity.

I should hold more babies. That's more useful than dangerous non-posturing.

Fine. I could find him in the dark, blinded, with burst eardrums.

I feel good that he's reverted to type. I've never been to an actual hell and I'm looking forward to see what I can raise there. Not that I wanted to be right about Katse. I didn't.

But I want to cry because Nambu is the coldest, most unreasonable person I have ever had to deal with in my life!

He ...he... he knows exactly what Jinpei's been up to, and he won't tell me. He refuses to make it stop. "When you were Jinpei's age, Jun, you kept secrets from Ken and Joe in the interest of maintaining security in sensitive situations. The line between family loyalty and moral responsibility is a very fine one, but rest assured that Jinpei is conducting himself admirably."

That bastard.

And he doesn't know that Katse's back either.

ETA:Biting her cheeks, Jun jumps from the computer and goes to her closet where she pulls out a musty t-shirt imprinted with a '3' on the chest, and rose-pink and white striped boot-leg jeans. There's a flash of brilliant white light, and she stands in her incarnation as Swan-Jun. She raises her bracelet to her mouth, and appears to vanish in a burst of speed. The window shade flaps loudly in the wake of her exit:

I was one. For a very long time.

If I had a dad, and I don't, never did, but if I had a dad, I think he'd agree with me that it's okay being used because it means you're actually worth something. I've been used but that's okay. I don't know why people are alive anyway besides helping one another out. For me, that meant killing bad guys (while doing my best to minimize collateral damage). Ultimately, it was about taking care of my family and directing it in ways that brought out the best in us.

My family is four other people in my life: Ryu, my fisherman; Ken a pilot; Joe who used to garden and should never be challenged in games that involve throwing things, especially die or darts. My baby is Jinpei, only, he's real big now...big hearted. He gets smarter and stubborner by the minute. He doesn't need me nearly as much as he used to, but he's not moving out until he's at least sixteen. The man who raised us? He's a user. And being a user has enabled him to help a lot of people through me and my family.

I moved out before I was fifteen and it sucked. But when I finally figured out how to deal with my family and the man who raised me in terms acceptable to me?

I flew like a swan.

All the things I learned while I was in training to be a secret weapon, and then the actual fieldwork? That is, like, the best education ever. Practical experience is where it's at. For now, I run the Snack, invent drinks, hang out with my friends, sing kereoke, restore bikes, get to know myself, make other acquaintances and contribute to rebuilding my part of the world (Utoland City got the hell kicked out of it during the Galactor battles).

The world's a bad place for a kid that's alone. I'm not a kid anymore. But there are lots of them out there, without food or shelter, let alone love. I grew up with food and shelter. It took me moving out to realize that with Ken, Joe, Ryu and Jinpei, I also grew up with love.

I think loving each other is what made us such a great weapon. We would do anything to stay together. Anything. And we would do anything to protect each other - not just each other's bodies but our spirits. Take it from me, we went through hell for Everybody. And we were so young then, we didn't really know what it was we were getting into. But all knowledge is power and love is one hell of a secret weapon.

I don't understand how someone who didn't love me knew enough about that to make my potential as a soldier and a sister benefit the whole planet.

Someone I used to know reappeared. I thought that person was gone.

Some people don't deserve second chances.

It's important that they know that.

But even if they don't, I'm a big girl.

It's not like I haven't been handling mine and other people's business since Jinpei was a baby. And I wasn't all that old myself either.

In other thoughts, Joe, I'm not worried so much as curious, what're you planning...if anything?

I need to work on my bike. Or reorganize the bar. Or talk Jinpei into bake something special.

One of the things about being a post-modern woman, is that I'm as handy with a knife in the kitchen as I am outside of it. Actually, I'm a lot better with a knife outside of the kitchen, now that I think of it. Jinpei's the chef of the family.